


Unsettling

by callmeonetrack



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Alternate Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-16 23:58:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9295334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmeonetrack/pseuds/callmeonetrack
Summary: After the worlds end, life's too short to settle.





	

Dee stands in the open hatch, watching them. Starbuck's eyes are closed and her blonde hair gleams against Lee's brown. They're a striking picture, even she has to admit it, and something holds her back from entering right away.

But then the pilot's eyes open and widen, as she spies Dee and immediately lets go, slipping back and putting distance between them. Dee can't see Lee's face from here but his arms hang in the air for a moment, empty yet grasping as if he's not quite sure they belong to him. Kara greets her and Lee turns, and she catches his eyes. Something flickers there for a moment and she watches as his face changes before his lips curve in a smile. And she knows.

Starbuck makes a joke, somewhat crude as usual, but as she brushes by her, Dee can see the way her eyes shine wetly even under Galactica's lights. She walks over to Lee, who is still smiling at her, but there's something absent in his face that was there a minute ago. And she watches his gaze flick to the hatch just for a second as it closes behind the captain. Her eyes study him, the hard planes of his face so familiar to her now, and wonders how she was ever foolish enough after everything she's heard--over the wireless, in hidden places, from the other pilots--to think that he could be hers.

Her face must change because he looks at her, brow furrowed and says, "Hey? Dee? What's wrong?"

She takes a deep breath. "This isn't going to work."

He frowns. "I know it'll be hard with me on another ship but maybe you can--"

"No. NO," she says louder, her spine stiffening a little as it all sinks in. "Us. This... Whatever this is."

Lee's mouth gapes as he stares at her. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't know how I didn't see it before. I guess... I guess I just didn't want to. But I've been here before Lee." He frowns and opens his mouth, but she holds up a hand. "I broke up with Billy," her voice shakes a little saying his name, "because I didn't want to settle."

"Dee--"

She shakes her head, squeezes her eyes shut. She needs to get this out. Her eyes open, gaze locking on Lee. "And I don't want to settle now." His head tilts, and she can tell he’s not getting it. "I don't want to settle for being second best, Lee," she says gently.

His jaw works for a moment before actual words come out. "Is this about Kara? Because I don't know what you think you saw, Dee, but that was just a goodbye. We were just saying goodbye."

She laughs at that. "No, you weren't. That's the whole point. I don't think you two ever will."

He looks down at the floor, hurt and confusion on his face. No denial though on his lips, this time. Dee feels a pang. She’s tempted to say forget it, to just pretend like it was a misunderstanding, take what he could give her. Even if it wouldn't ever be all of him.

The problem is she’s not really sure if that will be enough. She sighs and steps closer, rising on tiptoe to cup his face and press her lips to his quickly, gently, one last time. Dee can see the apprehension in his eyes, as if he’s warring with himself over what he should do and what he wants to do. She decides to make it easy on him. "Go find her. It's the end of the world, Lee. Life's too short to settle."

She turns before she can regret it, and walks to the hatch.

"DEE!"

She pauses, a hand on the wheel, and turns her head. Lee looks at her and smiles. It’s tentative with more than a hint of sorrow. "Thank you."

She just nods and swallows hard, pushing open the hatch and fleeing before her dignity can desert her. Tomorrow she might—no doubt she will--regret this, but tonight, Dee knows she's done the right thing.

It feels good to be right.

*****

Kara is punching and kicking at the heavy bag when Lee finds her in the gym. Her hands and feet are bare and her jaw is set. He wonders whose face she's seeing in the swinging bag.

He steps into the room, coming up behind the bag just as she raises her leg and slams it with a high kick. He catches it and her head lifts, eyebrows raising.

"Hey. Shouldn't you be busy getting busy, Major?" She smiles fleetingly but turns away to grab her towel, wiping the sweat out of her eyes.

"Dee broke up with me."

Kara whips her head back around, the towel poised comically in the air in front of her face. "She did?"

He nods, his mind still reeling.

"But why?"

Lee takes a deep breath and locks his gaze on Kara's. "She said she knew it would be settling. That she wasn't... who I really wanted."

Her eyes widen and the towel slips out of her hands. It breaks the moment and as she bends to retrieve it, he steps closer, hand closing around her arm. "Kara," he pauses, unsure how to continue. Her face is wary and she's staring straight ahead of her, standing perpendicular to him and refusing to meet his eyes.

"Kara," he repeats, voice softer, then stops again. "Dee was right. Life is too short to settle."

She bites her lip, still not meeting his eyes. "So what are you saying? You want to get what you can right now, Lee?" She does turn to him then, her gaze hard and unyielding. "Because we tried that and you didn't like it much."

Someone who didn't know Kara and her defensive mechanisms so well might have been put off. Hell, a few months ago, Lee probably would have turned and left the room, but her words from earlier are still ringing in his ears, the look on her face as she'd said them fixed in his head. _"Are we okay?"_ There's an us. There's always been an us. Dee had been right about that too. They've never been any good at saying goodbye. So maybe it was time to stop trying.

Lee swivels, moving in front of her, both arms clutching her biceps and drawing close to her. "I don't want right now, Kara. Not from you." He leans closer, eyes searching hers. "I want more than that. I _need_ more than that."

Her lips part, her breath catching then releasing, fanning warmly against his cheek. Her eyes are wide and a little panicked, but Lee was done waiting. "Tell me there's no us, Kara. Tell me that this guy, this resistance fighter you were so worked up over isn't just another excuse, another Baltar."

She frowns. "Lee, I--"

"Tell me you didn't feel it, just like I did, from the moment you opened that door four years ago." Her face falters at that, and he feels triumph because he knows she can't.

"But Zak--"

"I loved Zak and Zak loved you. But I love you too, Kara." He squeezes her arms, watching the moment it sinks in, her lips trembling a little. Lee moves in closer, slowly, till his forehead brushes hers, his hands sliding around her back. "No takebacks, remember? I'm in love with you now and gods help me, but I think I was in love with you then.”

She's breathing hard and he lifts a hand to her face, tilting it up so he can see her eyes again. "Five years is a long time. And I'm sick and tired of pretending that I'm okay with just letting you go over and over. Because I'm not, Kara. I'm not."

She flinches and finally speaks, her voice small. "It's safer that way. You'll be safer that way."

He wants to point out the ridiculousness of her argument, considering his shoulder still smarts from her bullet wound, but he doesn't think logic and reason is going to help him here. "I'm done playing it safe. I want you Kara, and I'm willing to risk it..." he pulls back, a question in his eyes, "if you want me, too. So, you tell me. Do you want this?"

She just stares at him, tortured eyes meeting his for a long minute, and he thinks with cold certainty suddenly that she's going to say no, but then she nods. Slowly at first, then faster, her arms raising and circling his shoulders in a hug and he pulls her tight to him, lips crashing down on hers, before her head even stops bobbing. They kiss hard, noses and mouths mashed together, nostrils smooshed and hands grabbing at each other. It's not pretty or sweet. It's desperate, the result of five long years of denial and repression spilling out onto their lips and tongues and fingertips.

Somehow they work their way down to the mat, shedding clothes frantically—no putting the brakes on this time, Lee thinks with satisfaction—even while still clinging to each other. And when he slides inside her, he thinks fleetingly of Caprica, of the way the long grass behind his house swayed in the breeze on the summer nights of his childhood. It's a random thought, he thinks, completely incongruous, until he realizes that maybe this is a kind of homecoming too. And then he stops thinking and just indulges in the feeling of Kara surrounding him, her strong hands on his skin, her lips against the soft skin of his temple, her body welcoming him and rising to meet him, until they spill over together into a blessed oblivion.

He opens his eyes and Kara is smiling up at him, her arms still locked around his back and Lee thinks just for a second about waking up to someone else smiling at him that very morning. He feels a pang of regret about Dee, about how he wasn't strong enough to recognize this and break it off himself, but Kara lifts her head and kisses him, her presence blotting out everything else, blinding him like she's his own personal sun.

"I think you missed your shuttle, Commander," she smirks.

The thought registers, but he's too content to care. "They'll just have to wait," he grins. "Perks of having your own command, right?"

She arches an eyebrow. "Abuse of power already? Nice."

He shrugs and drops a kiss on her nose, and watches her smile and doesn't regret it. "I'll just tell them I was doing some recruiting." He winks at her. "I do need a CAG after all."

Kara's eyes flash. "Oh really? And what was that you said earlier about things could be worse..."

"I changed my mind." His hands slide down her chest. "I think I know how to handle you."

She grins wickedly. "Prove it."  



End file.
